Resolutions

*I meant to post this entry back in January when I wrote it… but life comes at you fast so here it is 6 months later…*

-------

I am guilty of spending many evenings watching Instagram reels in an attempt to give my brain a break of thinking, planning and organising everything for everyone. At the end of a long day of doing things for others, I just want to be entertained rather than entertaining.

My favourite accounts are those run by other mums who talk about the raw reality of parenting and make fun of the absolute chaos that it is becoming a mum, so these type of videos would make the 85% of what comes up on my feed. However, every now and then some other videos pop up, and some of these are the so-popular “GRWM (get ready with me)", but more specifically "GRWM as a mum of 7 kids who sleep in until 8am every morning – I wake up at 4am and never skip this work-out and skincare routine!”. In the beginning I used to watch these feeling as if she and I lived in different galaxies altogether.

In all honesty, for the first 3 years of my twins' lives, I even forgot I had skin of my own. From the second they were born to when they started going to Preschool 5 mornings a week, I don’t even think I remembered to put on perfume any day. I stayed with them and worked from home for the most part of those first years so my morning routine was more like a Get Ready With US. A successful GRWM became simply managing to get dressed and brush my teeth without anyone hanging off my arms or legs.

Once they turned 3 and we eventually found some sort of routine in the Preschool mornings where my husband and I would take turns to get ourselves and them ready, I would go into work and people would ask me if I’d gotten my hair done or if I was wearing make-up. I then had to explain the cruel reality: “Nope, this is just what I actually look like when I have half a minute to brush my hair, wash my face and spray some perfume on… Remember me from a couple of years ago?”.

From then on, it has (very) slowly gotten better. By the time they turned 4 last September I was using moisturizer most days, but skincare routine with more than one step? That is still a Sunday-morning-only job (if so).

We have now officially survived the 1^st term of their 2^nd year of Preschool which was as chaotic as it could have been from all possible angles, at home and in work. We’re not expecting much from the new year so all I actually wanted was to make 2025 the year that I did use moisturizer every day and didn’t wear leggings at least twice a week (this one is even more difficult than the 2-step skincare routine).

This all may sound stupid but I really find it very difficult to find time (and headspace) for these silly things, mostly because I don’t even allow my brain to make it a priority. “I” am just not on the to-do-list, and if it’s not on the list, it’s not getting done. It’s not just time, though, because my husband and I do divide family tasks and give each other time to get ready, etc. but I feel like my brain has gotten used to carry out the minimum, basic tasks when it comes to myself, so that there’s more time and energy to focus on everything and everyone else.

When I went back to work 5 mornings per week I actually had to put a daily remember on my phone to fill my water bottle. You can be sure that their water bottles are filled every single morning and get refilled at any time during the day when needed, but the thought of doing my own at the same time didn’t even cross my mind.